In 2013, the belief that I was a separate self shattered, thanks to working with an online guide using direct pointing techniques. I truly realised there was no ‘me’ in control. I experienced bliss and felt in love with everything. Had I been a Christian, I imagine I’d have thought I had been called by God.
This experience of bliss lasted a couple of months. Then I started to ‘flip-flop’ in and out of it. One moment I was on the stage believing the unfolding tragic tale I was acting in, and the next I was back in bliss, watching from stage left, wondering why I’d been drawn back into believing the story.
While I never believed in a separate self again, I certainly seemed to act as if I did!
With the help of a friend, and instruction from an erudite scholar of Buddhist texts, further explorations took place and under their guidance the other delusions which kept me from peace and contentment fell away.
By 2017, to all intents and purposes, suffering stopped. Seeking had stopped. Resistance to how things are had stopped. I’ve been pretty content since then.
This doesn’t mean that life is always satisfactory, nor that I am always well and pain-free. Nor am I living in material abundance with unrivaled success heading my way. Nor do I appear to be the perfect being with perfect speech! But I do live in peace and contentment, usually with compassion and self-acceptance. I am still working with conditioning, but I am now okay with feeling vulnerable, and allowing emotions to just flow through without being attached to or identified with them.
I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am not special. This awakening and freedom from suffering is open to anyone – is open to you.
Peace & love, Lake